The Thoughts of a Junior

     A chapter from the story of my life. This chapter won't really have an end until next year but it's what is most present to me right now. It's more of a section of a chapter of my life. So here is section one out of three:
                                                               Finding a College
     The thing that is looming in the back of my mind, constantly brought up at school and just seems so out of control, is college. This probably is what everyone goes through when college comes around, or at least more than just me. I have been working on finding colleges since thanksgiving break of 11th grade. I don't just mean like looking at what the majors are and how much it costs, I've been taking notes making lists crossing out colleges adding them on. Constantly thinking about what I want to do at college, what type of college I want to go to, if I really even want to go to college right now, how far away I want to go, if I'll be able to afford the college I want to go to, if I want to go to the city or not, if I am smart enough to get into the college I like, do I want to run or do I want to ride, do I want to do sports at all, and a thousand more questions that i don't even want to think about right now. Every school break we got that lasted more than three days I began to look at colleges. I have a journal full of just information about colleges. When their open houses are, what type of majors, where they are, when I want to go visit, what I'll need to apply, and so on. And frankly, it's been driving me CRAZY!
     At first it was almost fun but now it's all seems to feel so real. Every one is giving me their opinion usually promoting the college they attended, which isn't bad but I've started to get sick of it. Now to be very honest I've had my dream college picked out since freshman year. I want to go to Skidmore. Now I am very aware that it's a big reach for me between my grades and being able to afford the school, but I'm doing everything in my power to be able to attend there. I haven't shut out other schools though. I've been doing tons of research about other schools and narrowed my list down to about eight schools that I would like to apply to. I  want to do early decision to Skidmore, but even doing that I have other schools I really would like to go to. There is a small liberal arts college called Hollins in Roanoke, Virginia that is my second choice. Although it is a fairly unknown school, and very small, and all girls, I want to go there because it has what I want. I'm going there for their precollege summer program and I'll learn more about it then.
     So the choosing process has began to calm down. Now the applying process will start. I've been thinking about  my essay, my college interview, remembering to sign up for the ACTs, calling and reserving a spot in the open houses at two colleges over the summer, looking at the applications I'll have to fill out for Skidmore which is due by November 15th I think. I have a lot of stuff to work on for my application and hopefully it'll all get done. Right  now I'd like to focus on my tests at the end of the year but that's just not gonna be possible. I like to hope at some point I'll be able to sit back and enjoy myself with out having college or school enter my mind. Hopefully that will come at some point. It's not all bad, and I have learned a lot, but I'd just like this all to be over with. Sadly that's not how it works and this is just section one of a chapter of my life, now I have to apply then once that's done I have to choose and go. It's gonna go fast, but it's just torture right now. I don't know if anyone else feels the same way but this whole thing is just so stressful. I have spent countless hours looking and searching and this all better amount to a damn good college experience or that was a lot of wasted time. 
     So I've realized that this has been a lot of me complaining. I'm torn between starting over and finding something more interesting to talk about, but the thought of college will probably appear in that one too. So, hey, might as well get all my thoughts about it out now and maybe I can figure out how I can deal with this with out getting stressed out so it'll get better. This chapter is currently in progress and hopefully it has a happy ending like Disney has taught me happens to every one. But reality has shattered poor Walt Disney's happy endings and I just have to prepare myself as best I can and do what I can do. So now that all my thoughts about this almost seem tangible maybe I'll be able to put everything together and just do what I can do.